A Violent Yet Flammable World

This is the fourth drawing I've done since starting. The second drawing was of Ben and the third was of an Alien. It's definitely an improvement and by far the most portrait-like one.

I decided to write some poetry on his face (along his wrinkle lines) but it didn't come out very clearly. Oh well. If you squint, you might be able to work out one or two words, or nothing at all. It's actually a little poem about how tasty figs are.

Ce Tout

In between reading 'Hurry Down Sunshine' by Michael Greenberg and listening to Phoenix and Ladyhawke, I've finally completed the drawing I set myself up to do.

Ta da! Although, it looks like he is missing the other half of his arm and could do with a better drawn hand, not to mention that terrible depiction of a shrub, I am most surprised by the fact that I could actually render a face that looks like a face, a 'real human' face!

I am relieved that the drawing is somewhat similiar to the image I had in my mind. It has given me a little more confidence in my ability to convey imagery that comes to me, rather than have to try and assembly it using cut-up magazine and newspaper pictures, which can be quite limiting at times. Hopefully, this freedom will allow me to convey my ideas in all it's precision and entirety.

It still amazes me that I produced this, considering that the last 'serious' drawing I did was in primary school and consisted of a unicorn that looked like a very misshapen horse with oddly proportioned legs and a rotund body. I'm not sure why, but I think I stopped drawing at that point in time (unless stick figures count).

I had so much fun with this drawing, I actually did a little victory dance in the living room when it was finished.

Lisztomania

Last week, I was sitting outside alone on a park bench during my lunch break in a small walk-through between my work building and the next building. There's a few shrubs and plants, maybe to give the illusion of there being a semi-nature reserve amidst all the concrete. It's nice enough, a small oasis of calm as there isn't usually much foot traffic in this area. On this particular day, I happened to notice a suit walk past and as he was walking past he casually brushed the leaves of a plant with his finger tips, almost reverentially but casually at the same time, as if to remind himself that he was human. It was really touching. I have no idea what he was thinking at the time but I feel compelled to capture that moment.

It's easy to visualise what I want to project. The hard bit is trying to draw and fit it all into a picture. Tre difficile! Considering my complete lack of illustratory abililty, it will be a mammoth task! Oh, at times like these I curse my complete lack of drawing skills but I guess that didn't stop Henry Darger so I should stop cursing and make an attempt.

Listening to the latest Phoenix album 'Wolfgang Amadeus', hoping this will psyche me up for the challenge.

Lazy Sunday

Yep. Feeling lazy today. Am in lazy Sunday mode. Even my writing is lazy.

So, instead of writing more drivel. I have decided to post some of my work that didn't quite eventuate into anything.

Gallery of Forgotten Works

Everything Is Illuminated

Ben's creative genius enabled us to morph our living space into a cosmopolitan jungle, resplendent with climbers, coffee plants and a few bonsai. We're hoping to lure a few wild creatures, a la 'Where the Wild Things Are'.

Soon We Will Be Found

Just felt like doodling today. It's less messier than painting, especially in our current place, where there's not enough room for a mini studio. So, it's back to basics. It's a relief to be able to play around with ideas again and not just have them hovering in my head, like a sadly curbed minor key melody.

Clouds and raindrops have always held a deep fascination for me. The ability to be able to disperse into nothing or floating, gliding above and out of reach of everything. It reminds me of summers when my friend, Cate and I would just sit in the park and look up at the sky and clouds and guess what transformation the clouds were going to turn into next.

The drawing itself was done on butcher's paper salvaged from a housewarming present given by a friend of mine, Tobi. The HB pencil, not sure where that came from, except it has these words on it, 'cheap software! EDUCATIONSOFTWARE.COM.AU - probably a promotional pencil from somewhere, although I can't ever recall being in possession of it (must be Ben's). I'm not sufficiently bored enough to bother looking up the site, but never say never.

Shopping List

I was reading the paper recently that featured this artist who would foward a shopping list on to someone to buy all the items listed (items were all white, from memory, like flour, milk etc which leads me to conclude she may have been just a bit racist or trying to make a statement about racism. Not really sure). She would then present all the items as her exhibit. Fascinating. I was more fascinated by how much money she was earning then the exhibit itself. I think the figure was in the hundreds of thousands.

This leads to me to think what our shopping list would be worth (baring in mind, this list is co-written by Ben):

Vida cereal

Ben cereal

We are both fussy eaters and very particular about our cereals, which means we have our own different boxes of cereals. Something healthy for Ben and something full of sugar for me. Anyway, I digress...back to the list with no delay or any other cursory lapse into another one of my trivial ramblings. Oh, too late!

Milk

Al-foil

Puppy Pads

Puppy Treats

Corn Flakes (to make honey joys this weekend - yum!)

Steak (for me the meat-eater of the family)

Cucumber (to go with my steak because I don't like eating just meat)

Lettuce

Chicken

Cashews

Frozen Veg

Taco Taco (I think Ben meant to write Soft Tacos but Tacos Tacos does have more of a musical rhythm to it, plus I know what he meant because I asked him to put Soft Tacos on our shopping list because it's just so tasty)

Chicken Burgers

Hash Browns (for Ben, I don't really like Hash Browns but will occasionally eat it if I feel like being dirty)

Floor Cleaner/Eucalyptus Oil (Ben promises me that the oil makes our floor smell extra fresh. I'm not convinced)

Tissues (We run out of it so quickly in winter)

3 Chimpanzees (I suspect Ben is being facetious)

I imagine that our grocery bill will cost more than it's worth (especially taking into account all those chimpanzees).

Beethoven Quartets, Opus 132, A minor

Such a long time since I've posted. I've not done any work, which is very very slack. Instead, I've been listening to music, and reading a lot. It's very indulgent I know, but it comforts and sustains the soul. It feels a bit like cheating, in that you gain the same type of artistic satisfaction but without having to put in the work.

Lately, I haven't felt any inclination or motivation to do any work or even pick up the scissors or paintbrush. I don't seem to have the passion for it anymore, which I hope is just a passing mood. I've attempted to try and get back into creating but even the effort is dispiriting. It's been about 6 months. I feel like a recovering addict or something, monitoring the timeframe or lack of timeframe for me to get my act together and start being productive again.

Meanwhile, I've been addicted to the written word and have exhausted all the reserves on my library card. I have been trying to convince Ben to sign up so that I can use his card as well. I've always loved reading ever since I was little. The right book can make sense of everything and for just a minute the world makes sense again, in the same way that a beautiful piece of music will transcend language and provide an all too brief glimpse of some other worldly beauty.

This post is proving quite the comtemplative post but it's rather hard with the sunlight streaming in, the violin and cello playing in all seriousness, and the luxury of time to not be taken in by the reflective mood and put it down in words.